Tag Archives: dementia

Ol’ Nan to Little Pet (Part 2 of 2)

 

Forget me not, for I have not forgotten you,

Show me love and compassion, as I had once shown you,

If I could, y’know I would still be useful to you,

As it is, I am trapped in a palace of my own memories,

With a variety of heaven, foreboding and hell – snapshots from a lifetime of diverse experiences -, behind every door;

The barriers of my mind (that could once be trusted to keep my thoughts distinct and separate from each other) have somehow given way,

Forgive me if I can’t place you quickly or at all, for you – like all of my memories – are a jumbled maze,

This glaucoma-like blur clears less and less frequently, if at all;

Be patient with me – a simple human kindness, for any compassion you bear me;

Be kind to me, though I know (in your frantically stress-filled life) it is not easy;

The end is rarely pleasant, Little Pet;

But you must be strong throughout;

I am glad you are doing what you can for me, and that must be enough;

For only the rarest few achieve that sense of finality in life;

And, you and I (I’m afraid, my sweet Little Pet) will not.

‘Little Pet’ to Ol’ Nan (Part 1 of 2)

Streaks of tears flow from ol’ nan’s rheumy eyes;

Is it her tear ducts or is she terribly sad? I don’t know which!

Her face is an age-old mask of wrinkles and parchment;

Turned into paper mache-

Changing from haunted, stern, angry and sincere, each time I visit;

I can no longer read which is which,

She can’t seem to recognise me, I don’t know why!

It fills my soul with helplessness enough to suffocate,

Love isn’t enough to cure you Nan, and the realisation is tearing me apart!

A hard-working woman all your life filled with duty and warmth left virtually an empty shell, where is the justice in that?

Remember, you called me ‘Little Pet’, no one else does now or ever will again;

I fear one day I will visit you and you’ll be gone, and I’m not ready for that!

Please, Nan, show me that you can hear me and come back:

To see my growing family, to give you all the comforts you deserve, and a chance to say ‘I love you’ one last time!

I need that!